Included with this episode is a free gift from Melissa.  In fact Melissa gifts us with so much in this interview, including a small exercise on connecting with your purpose. In this episode Melissa talks to us about her new book, Mastering Your Mean Girl, and how through conquering your inner critic and believing in your own self worth you can live a wildly successful life.

Scroll to the bottom of the post for your free gift - An Inspo-action from the book.

Interview Transcription

Kylie

Our guest today is an inspiration to so many and her message of choosing love over fear is just so incredibly important to our listeners. Living with intention and breaking free is pivotal in inspired careers. Melissa Ambrosini is author, motivational speaker, presenter and ambassador of self love. Elle magazine referred to her as the self-help guru and she’s well known for her inspirational live events, online programs and guided motivations. She uncovers women’s self worth and leave abundant purpose for lives. It’s a pleasure talking to her today just as her new book “Mastering Your Mean Girl” goes to print. What is a “mean girl” Melissa?”

Melissa

The mean girl is basically your ego. It’s that fear-based voice inside of your head that says “you’re not good enough, you’re not smart enough, you’re not pretty enough, you’re not working hard enough, you’re not successful enough, you’re not earning enough, you’re not fill in the blank enough. And we all have that. Everybody has it and just varies in severity.”

My mean girl, 6 years ago, was on volume 10, but over the years after I’ve learned how to master her. I’ve been able to slowly tone down the volume of her voice and live from a place of love. You have two choices in every moment, you can either choose fear or love. In my book I teach women how to get out of their head and get back to their heart and to live from that place.

Kylie

Let’s talk about you career journey, from leaving school to today with all the twists and turns along the way. Talk us through your career journey.

Melissa

I finished school when I was 17 and started working professionally as an entertainer – a professional dancer and actress and I did TV presenting. Performing is in my blood. I applied for university for bachelor of business and got accepted in one of the top universities in QLD and I did really well at school but I always wanted to perform and do things on my terms. My parents have been very supportive and didn’t force me into anything.

I applied for a performing arts school and got accepted. I moved cities at 17 and went into another acting school. I worked professionally for a couple of years and got accepted in the Moulin Rouge in Paris. I moved to Paris at 20 years old, then moved to London after a year and continued to work as a professional dancer.

There’s always been emptiness. All of the external stuff was determining my happiness. Superficially I felt great. I never looked within. There was heaviness and a sense of sadness.

I had my biggest heartbreak in London and so I went back to Australia. I told myself I will not perform again as soon as I get back to Australia. I was not sure what to do with myself. It spiralled for a couple of years. I hit rock bottom and got hospitalized due to cold sore virus. I was having anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and had an eating disorder. It was then I found a slight relief that I could finally let go. A friend sent me a package – it has How to Heal your Life. I started reading and listening to the audio and my life started to change from that moment.

I learned self-love. I knew I had to start to turn my health and life around. From that moment I just made a conscious decision to start to look after myself. From there I studied holistic medicine and became fascinated with healing your body through natural remedies – food, meditation, yoga. I studied holistic nutrition, life coaching, yoga teacher training, meditation, energy healing. I started to feel good and keep following that.

Kylie

Was that the start of a career change or was it just something you were interested in?

Melissa

I had no idea. It just felt really good. I then started sharing everything on my blog. It started resonating to women. My blog just started to take off and so maybe I thought I should continue sharing. I wrote my first e-book and I started coaching women. I was asked to speak around Australia. That was 6 years ago. I never imagined I’d write books and be speaking all over the world, creating online products and programs to help women. It’s so rewarding and I literally started creating my job, I created it exactly how I wanted it. It is what is true to me and what feels good to me.

Kylie

What advice would you give to people to how they can dig deep and find that courage from within and follow their passion?

Melissa

First you have to pre order your Mastering your Mean Girl right away because this is exactly what I talked about in this book. I have the tools to dial up your self-worthiness back up.

Kylie

Is there any advice you can give to people how they can get clear with their passions?

Melissa

So often we walk around without our parents’ beliefs or our parents’ values or whoever’s influential in your life. I got my rock bottom experience when I was 24 – it doesn’t matter what age you are – I was just grateful I had mine at an early age and I was able to turn everything around and have the life that I have now. From that moment, I realised I didn’t know what I actually believed in. I started being honest with myself. It is important to take the time to stop and ask what are your beliefs around money, health, and career…? And when you are crystal clear with that, staying on your path is so much easier.

Kylie

It’s a journey of self discovery, you need to understand yourself first. It is only when you know who you are and what your values are that you can decide what you want to do and it becomes easy to choose your path. You simply need to check in with your values at every fork in the road.

Do you have any advice on taking opportunities?

Melissa

Everyone is worthy of living the life of their dreams. I would say, learn how to master your mean girl and follow your dreams. It’s about connecting back to your heart. It’s just takes courage to try something different. I’ve put little exercises in the book about inspired actions. I want this book to really cement amazing changes for the reader.

Kylie

Yes, we are all “perfectly imperfect” and noone is any more worthy of great things than another.

Another thing you address in the book is about wealth and money. Tell me more about how you have your dad’s belief in money and how it shifted.

Melissa

Money is just energy like everything else in the world. It’s just a means of exchanging something that we value. It’s not dirty. Money is just money. I realised in my early 20s when I was having a lot of self discoveries that I have my dad’s beliefs about money. Feeling is everything – it’s about tuning in to your heart. I have an inspired action exercise in my book about redefining your beliefs about money. It’s challenging not to judge your parents for their beliefs as well, just remember that everyone’s on a different operating system and no is right or wrong, everyone’s just different. It’s a really empowering exercise and it’s important if you want to create a life or career that you want.

Kylie

When you get clear on the things that matter to you that also helps in your worthy meter. Comforting and empowering yourself by knowing your beliefs are your own. In the book, you talked specifically about being wildly wealthy. Can you give our listeners tips on how they can move from the scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset?

Melissa

The first thing you can do is the exercise on redefining your beliefs around it. Once you have your beliefs it’s then about catching your mean girl and choosing your true beliefs. It’s about being super aware of what you are thinking. And what I meant about being wildly wealthy, I’m not just talking about financial wealth – it’s about abundance in all areas – health, relationships, career and life in general.

Kylie

What is your personal definition of success?

Melissa

If I can go to bed at night and put my head on my pillow and say I have chosen love over fear and every moment today, then I have succeeded.

Kylie

Can you give our listeners an idea about what you mean by love over fear?

Melissa

Choosing my heart over my mean girl, choosing truth over fear, choosing what feels right for me in my heart as opposed to my head.

Kylie

In the book you talked about how to make a life and not a living. What can you say to workaholics on how to get that work-life-blend right? As it is a “work-life blend” not “balance” it’s not a case of either as our work and life are intrisically linked.

Melissa

If you’re doing what you love, it blends. Some of the time, my personal life requires more of me. And there are times my work requires more of me. For me, I’m so in tune with my body and aware that I know how to recalibrate. So if I know I’ll be doing a lot of work, I make sure I nourish, meditate, go to bed as early as I can, I say no to every social commitments just so I can give my best self. Visualise it like a see-saw, up and down, we want to keep it steady as possible and not be so dramatic.

Kylie

Is there anything else you’d like to leave for our listeners in terms of wisdom for them to master their mean girl and have an inspired career?

Melissa

A 3 step quick process on how to master your mean girl that you could start doing today:

Awareness – bring awareness to that mean girl voice

Gently closing the door to her

Choose love – choosing something from your heart

So that’s a little 3 step process anyone can start doing right now. Whatever that is you’re doing, just implement those 3 little steps. It’s not easy. It’s really rewarding when you learn how to master your mean girl and live the life you truly desire.

Life is short and you don’t know how long you’re here for, do what lights you up for every moment with everything. Surround yourself with people who light you up and follow what feels good for you. Don’t live your life on someone else’s terms and you will live a life beyond your wildest dreams.

Kylie

For those who find it a bit scary, it only takes 28 days to form a new neural pathway. People can make a change now no matter where they are in their life’s journey.

Melissa

All it takes is a commitment to yourself. That’s it.

Below is a gift from Melissa - an example Inso-action - Inspired Action task from Mastering Your Mean Girl.  This particular task will assist you to connect with your "why"

 

Inso-action