Yep, you read the title correctly. It’s time to start beating yourself up. No more of this “self-nurturing” palaver. Quit with the pampering; the manis, the pedis, the massages, the Yin Yoga...enough! Put down your green smoothie or your almond milk latte and listen up. Self-care is all the rage. “Put yourself first” they say “nurture your inner child” they say, “nourish yourself” .. crap. Get out those boxing gloves I say. It’s time to conquer yourself, well part of yourself anyway.
It’s time to squash your inner-critic. And while we’re at it, quietening your ego wouldn’t be a bad thing either?! To win out over your inner-critic, you’ll need strength, persistence, resilience and stamina. “Inner- critic?” You question. Not sure if you’ve got one. Here’s a little test. Does the little voice in your head ever say..
A. “Yes, your bum looks big in those jeans.”
B. “Nope you definitely couldn’t pull him, he’s way out of your league.”
C. “Yes, that was a stupid thing to say, and everyone in the room now thinks you’re a complete idiot.”
D. “What (?!!) were you even thinking this morning when you put on that outfit”
E. “Yep, you are too old, Botox is definitely a good idea, and much needed!”
F. “Your bum still looks big in those jeans.”
G. All of the above
Ok, I think we can all agree, none of the above is overly helpful. If you have a soundtrack in your head that contains the lyrics from options A to G I’m guessing you’re not living a self-actualised life and enjoying inner peace, serenity and contentment. Now, I could be wrong, it’s just a hunch but I’m thinking you’re probably not the number one happiest camper. So how do you whip the ass of your inner critic? You bring out the big guns. I’m talking - Awareness, Meditation, Compassion & Exercise.
Awareness is where it’s at. You can’t start changing the soundtrack until you’re aware what tune it’s singing. Start by listening and then changing the dialogue. A quick hack for you - change every “should” to “could”. Move from regret & remorse to possibility and options.
Compassion is the way forward. Yep, so I’m not saying that you should literally be beating yourself up. Just swashing the ever-present inner critic, drowning out it’s negative voice, so that gorgeous you, the real authentic you, gets more airtime in your mind. You do this by being kind to yourself. Understand that your negative inner-critic has played a role in your life, it’s assisted you to be aware of danger, to not give up, to push yourself harder. Thank your inner critic for that. In the same breath say “I’ve got this now. I’m going to be my own cheerleader and encourage myself with compassion and kindness”.
Mediation is the tool (so much more powerful than anything you can get your hands on in Bunnings) to really learn to understand your mind, turn the volume down on any unnecessary noise, and tune into your inner wisdom and compassion.
Exercise. I mentioned boxing gloves earlier. Get those out. But, for god sakes, don’t use them on yourself. Use them to exercise, get your heart rate up, work with a Personal Trainer, join the gym (or actually start using the pass you purchased on the 1st of Jan for Fitness First ;-). Whatever way you do it, start exercising, it’s great for raising your dopamine, quietening your inner critic and making you feel empowered and generally just amazeballs.
So there you have it. Slip into your active wear, be your own cheerleader, manifest some compassion and go meditate under a tree. No your bum doesn’t look big. In fact, it looks awesome. You are awesome!!